Entry for August 09, 2006

Four beers last night in Becker Brau, unfiltred, of course... and a night of hyperactivity, as there was full moon (2 more probably following...). Enough to put me in that state I go into when I don't have things to do.

So... this will be a "Sex and the city"-type blog. Question: Why do we like problems? Why do women like problems? What is it with calm life that sounds so damn wrong that we are not happy with? If we are not ok, if things go wrong, we complain that they never go well. If everything is perfect, we complain that we get bored.

I would like to meet the woman who is absolutely satisfied with her life. She will be my hero. But is there such a woman? Or it's just an ideal, more of a man's ideal actually, as they always say we're never satisfied. You know... as we have our romantic prince charming, handsome, sensitive, that always does the exact thing we need, and always says what we need to hear. That's a satisfied woman for the men, the perfection, the ideal (which, of course, doesn't exist).

Or, maybe, it does exist. But me... well, I have never met such a woman. I addmit. I complain about everything. I'm never satisfied with the way things are, but I truly believe that if I did, my life would be meaningless. I always say you have to have standards to reach for. And always have a project to fight for, if not, what is life? If a guy treats me with indifference... well, just ask those who did and they'll tell you how annoying I get.

So, I complicate my life. If I don't have problems, I invent them. I couldn't live in a life where there would be no problems. Of course, usually my problems are... romantic. And as I consider myself a bit of an artist, at least my soul is, I tend to take my problems as far as they become tragedies. So every day there's a tragedy happening, it keeps me going, and it keeps me from getting bored, because I am getting bored easily.

So, as I said, I enjoy complicating my life. If things are perfect, which they should be, since apparently all my dreams came true lately (just check my latest blog entries, you'll know what I mean), if I am happy, as I should be, I am actually not happy. I am not happy of being too happy. (What a stupid thing to say, right?). So, I am creating problems, and I am trying to find ways for the things to be not so perfect.

Some of you were getting a glimpse of my new-found "complications" lately, and saw how much I enjoyed them, and still enjoy. For the last three weeks, I've been going to work smiling and keeping that smile all day, which is a lot to ask from me. Unfortunately, there are too many people I care for reading this blog and I cannot explain everything in here. The question is, what will exactly happen? And how will I manage to go with it? Well... I have always fallen on my feet, no matter how many stupid things I've done; that's why I am so sure I will manage to handle everything. It's just a way to see how things would be if I did everything differently. And maybe putting the bases of a new life, I'm good at that.

Entry for August 09, 2006© 2006 moonlight / PICTURE FROM GOOGLE