There are times in our lives when we need to decide. We stop on our journey, and we have two roads ahead, and whether we make the correct choice, only time can tell. The only thing we know is that we cannot just stay there, waiting for the future to happen, or for others to decide for us.
I have been waiting for something to happen. I don't know what, I just waited... I've been on a journey for quite some time, without getting anywhere in particular, just wandering around senseless. Now, I believe I have reached that place that makes me feel safe, secure in some way, although, as every new beginning, it has some risks. I feel like I have been traveling on a train, on which I felt good being miserable. (I know it's absurd, but I was actually feeling perfect when I was sad). Now, I had to stop in this station, and asked to decide between the past and the future. Between miserable and the hope to be happy. Between desperation, foolishness, never ending still impossible dreams, and a reality more concrete, more touchable, and more fulfilling than I ever thought it might be.
And although logic always told me what to do, for a long time my heart contradicted me. Now, logic and heart, they both say the same. And I have chosen to move forward and to be happy, because as overrated as happiness may be, it is most sure preferable than tears. And although I adore being unhappy, because it makes me creative, it's my special artistic state of mind, I have reached the conclusion that I am no Sylvia Plath, and I actually like being alive and smiling.
So, I am facing happiness, one so complete, that I don't have to wonder every day whether it's real or not, whether tomorrow it will go away, whether it will last. Right now, I feel home. Spiritually, home. And you know what? I'm starting to learn that smiling can be an every day activity, and that it's not damaging to my face (hehehehe).
This goes for you... baila conmigo...
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